Jan Lautier, Intuitive
How’d I get here?
Quite a question isn’t it for all of us?
I had that sense of “something beyond me” as a kid but that was quickly replaced with productivity and competitiveness. It didn’t seem there was a space for that something beyond me…something I would now call intuition and/or a profound connection to Spirit.
When that connection was dim (and it was for decades) - there was an uneasiness, a restlessness - even when all around me seemed peaceful. I have to be honest and say I couldn’t find a safe space to open it up - there was literally NO nurturing of it. And then of course, it all exploded…….
Mysticism?
It was an awful and tragic disruption. In the midst of family life, work, running in all directions to support the kids, my husband died - from a bizarre illness that came up and then 9 months later he disappeared. There was no going back, there was no denying it, there was no pushing it down. Literally what we knew exploded.
I remember thinking then and saying many times later as a chaplain, “I couldn’t imagine that anyone could feel this much pain and still be alive.” I had no idea how much something could hurt emotionally because it had never happened to me before.
The pain was excruciating….the gifts tremendous - but they were a long time coming and I both doubted and feared them. But even back then, in what I called the horrible blackness, there were slight glimmers of hope. There was a woman’s voice I kept hearing saying, “It will be okay”. There were slight pauses between the words and each one carried weight. I knew then that ok didn’t mean he would live and I wasn’t sure how I was hearing the voice or getting that “knowing”. I just knew that I trusted it - leaving me wondering -Where did that trust come from?
That was just the beginning…………and I came to find out there was another way to experience life here on earth.
And so, I believe there are Angels here, we do hear and see things, and there are so many guides trying to help us. And I believe callings are real. I had no idea.
Energy?
Several years later as I became a hospital chaplain I realized that I was an empath taking on LOTS of energy from those around me. I also realized that I wasn’t sure sometimes what I felt - my own feelings - as opposed to what those around me felt. I could “read” a room sensing nuances, feelings and presences. But I didn’t realize that wasn’t everyone’s reality - it was my reality.
It was, at times, overwhelming. I could feel weighted down and felt like I had no way to release that other energy -much less separate it from my own. Yet the work was so fulfilling and joyous in the most unexpected ways. I knew I was in my calling of that time. I had to find a way that could work for me so I could find balance.
I ended up visiting a shaman and that started the journey into shamanism. It was how I felt after she worked on me that I realized - but yet again - I could experience life here differently. I had a vision/dream that night which was compelling. And from then on a guide appeared and has stayed with me, leading me to Four Winds and energy medicine certification. Energy had became real to me - I can see it, hear it, feel it……..and yet again I had no idea.
Animals?
And so after my husband’s death, the most healing dog appeared. Otis literally hugged his way into our lives at a times when we sorely needed it. We knew the house needed some life and the idea of a dog took hold. When we met Otis, he was put in my arms and literally hugged me. In that moment it went from ‘no’ to ‘we have to have him.’ He was the silent witness to all of us moving towards recovering and finding new lives.
It was when he was about 14 - he lived two more years - that he led me to Danielle MacKinnon. I wanted so much to make sure his transition was peaceful and how would I know? He and I had some conversations but I was nowhere near believing I could hear him.
Danielle changed that.
His death was horrible….he was such a loving presence. It was a year before the ashes could even be buried and a little tree put on top. And then the vow of - “it’s too painful, I can’t do this again” came swiftly.
Another dream came….this time I dreamed that Otis was not in my house and I had no idea where he was and I wasn’t worried about it. It was a confusing dream and I woke up not sure of what had happened but full of a new energy.
I had a “huh” feeling and then felt this overwhelming passion to find another dog - or really -open up to the dog who was trying to find me. And I did. He’s here in the pics - Finn.
And he led me to soul level animal communication - and wanting so much to DO IT.
But yet ANOTHER way to experience this world and beyond. Isn’t it something?
Symbol designed by Frances McKenna - Irish artist. Collectors often describe the experience of living with her work as nothing short of transformative. And isn’t that what this is all about?
Jan Lautier is fascinated with all types of spirituality, earning a Master of Arts degree from Hartford Seminary with a focus in spirituality. She is trained in Reiki, spiritual direction, has two certifications in energy medicine from Four Winds and has a special passion for one-to-one spiritual exploration. Her latest passion is animal communication where she was recently certified in the Danielle MacKinnon School. She is a board-certified chaplain.